How not to write: The traps we all fall into and how to avoid them.

1/ Don’t try to be funny when you want to be serious

There are hundreds of guides that tell you how to write, but I thought Writing from London might perform a service by offering a series of pieces on how not to write. I am not setting myself up as a great authority. I have made every mistake I highlight – often to the point of excess. The best I can say is that I hope I have learned from the experience, and can pass my hard-won knowledge on.

Stephen King once said that you can never teach people to be great writers but you can always encourage people to become better writers. My modest aim is to help you avoid the pits I have fallen into so often. None more so than the first trap that has snared me many times.

Don’t try to be funny when you want to be serious

The default style of features, cultural, comment and even news journalism in the UK is a tone of smirking irony delivered to reader as if through a fixed grin. Meanwhile the BBC appears to be on a mission to force mirthless humour on the nation. Making jokes in serious pieces of writing, however, can go horribly wrong.  I am not saying you should never do it. But think about these three rules before you do.

1/ Don’t sound like a swindler

Con artists always approach their targets with smiles on their faces. Politicians, journalists, and PR people are no different. They want to relax you and put you at your ease the better to sell you a dud. Authors are strangers speaking to other strangers, and glib asides are a useful means of assuring the audience that they have nothing to fear.

Here is Boris Johnson, a master of the swindling style, trying to convince Daily Telegraph readers to vote for Brexit in 2016.